I was born in 1973 in Luxembourg to a mother who was not ready to be a mother or even love me, and she abandoned me. Raised by my grandparents, mainly my grandmother, who became my resilience, I grew up with constant rejection from my biological mother, and this has not stopped ever. Emotional chaos and abuse were part of my life, from being bullied because I was gay to never fitting in anywhere. By the age of 10, I was already, in one way, so grown up, intervening in my grandfather’s suicide attempts, and on the other hand, I knew nothing about life and was just a little boy skating competitively to escape reality, enduring relentless bullying for being gay. At 16, I fled—first to the US, then to eight other countries—chasing a freedom that didn’t exist and chasing my biological mother’s love in every single love affair I could muster, without success.

 

My twenties and thirties were amazing: building businesses, earning millions, until at 36, everything collapsed. I lost my grandmother, my family, my business, and even myself. I spiralled into some sort of crystal meth addiction—not physical, more emotional—self-inflicted HIV, homelessness, and selling my body to survive.

 

So many died in my surroundings, and by 44, I knew I was next in line to die. I chose to fight. I cut ties with my toxic family, got clean, and started rebuilding. Slowly, painfully, I learned to live in my truth, to take full responsibility for my life, and to make peace with my past.

 

Now, at 51, I’ve accepted that healing is not a destination; it is a simple yet so complex choice where you leave behind who you have been so far and rebuild—but from what? To no longer be the victim that has so cunningly been crafted into your upbringing is tough, but if you make the decision, you can do it. I’m no longer a victim. I’m no longer chasing my mother’s love or running from myself. Instead, I’m helping others break the cycle of generational trauma and fight for a better life.

 

If any part of this resonates, reach out. Start your own journey of healing and self-acceptance, so your children don’t have to heal from you.

 

Let’s change this story. Together.

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ALEK